It has been a long long long time since I last wrote in this blog! It's always such a bummer when I think about how long its been. I always want to write and keep it up, but my energy level just hasn't been up to writing. I am working part time again this summer and then of course the ups and downs of living with a son with bipolar sometimes just drains me. However, I must say that this summer has been one of the best with JC. He has really been pretty stable. Not fantastic and nothing wrong, but at least we haven't had too many surprises :)
Now its that time of year again that so many of parents of kids with special needs hate and love all at the same time. We love it, because it means routine, consistency, less sibling fighting, less tantrums, etc all day at home. We hate it because of the uncertainty of teachers, assistants, other kids at school, which class/classes they are going to end up in, how are they going to react to it all, etc. It is so hard for parents of children who do not have special needs to fully grasp and understand the difficulties and amount of strain these kids place on a family, but it also hard for them to get how much more we love these kids. JC drives me absolutely crazy, bonkers and angry sometimes, but its during the times he does or says something uncharacteristically kind, warm and loving or hilariously funny that makes me realize how much I love this kid. JC does have a heart of gold that just gets so mixed up in the ups and downs of his illness. He takes so much longer to learn and internalize things that "normal (as if!)" people just "get" when they are told.
Today we had friends come over for a kind of end of summer pool party at our neighborhood clubhouse. I would take a guess that most if not all of the parents who had kids coming today did not worry a single minute about how their kids would react to the pool and the other people there. For me, although I guess I hide it pretty well, I worried and thought and planned with JC a LOT about what to expect today. Not only did we have the pool party planned, but we had to go to 8th grade registration before the pool. Talk about a lot of stimulation being thrown in all in one morning!!! I was so pleased when the pool was pretty much empty or near empty (other than us) almost the whole time we were there. More kids = more stimulation = more racing thought, racing heart and anxiety for JC. Its hard for him to know how to get the other kids to like him and want to play with him. It makes me sad for him to see how my other two kids easily just PLAY and chat and socialize without much effort and JC makes SO much effort, but just doesn't remember to use the lessons he's been taught to act the "right" way and make a friend. Anyways, I was happy that JC did remarkably well today given all that was going on in his young life for him. A couple minor incidences in the pool with others, but nothing major, no big blow ups and storming off towards home, no foul language... so I considered today quite a success for JC. And... I actually still feel pretty energetic :) Having good days is good for all of us.
Well, another quick thought... JC wants to and we are allowing him, to play football for middle school this year. I am a little concerned about the other "guys" and how they will react to him being on the team. He physically just doesn't have it in him to play football, but his desire and enthusiasm are really contagious. I hope they will encourage him so he keeps encouraging them instead of making fun and tearing him down. The coaches are and the others will be made aware of JC's bipolar and are in support of him playing this year as is his very involved principal, Mr. Wilhite. So, I guess I will just ask you to pray. Pray for me to not be anxious in JC's playing football and social graces as well as for JC to be able to get stronger and a little more sure of himself as he plays this year. GO HUSKIES!!!
Well, it's a long one, so I better sign off! Love to you all! Muah!
